my dogshit morning.
I get up late this morning and I let my dog out into the yard. He's usually pretty good about holding it til he can go outside, though he's got a litter box for middle of the night stuff.
So I let him into the yard and I go back inside and pour out some cereal. He comes back inside as I'm finishing the bowl and I assume he's finished his business. He typically gets a small treat as a reward for going outside instead of stinking up the house with his litter box. I open up a new bag of treats and these are smaller than normal, but should be fine. I mean he's a dog right? He's not hungry; he just wants validation for taking a shit in the grass.
So I'm wrapping up 'The Price is Right' and he goes back outside again, and comes back in a minute later. And he's licking his chops.
'Holy shit' I realize. It makes so much sense. The treat wasn't enough. He used to always try to eat his crap when he was a puppy, and on walks I always pick it up before he'd even get the chance... I pry his mouth open- no trace, but his breath stinks like hell.
I have to know for sure. I'm in the yard now, desperately trying to find the poop that I hope my dog didn't eat. I check all the usual spots, and come up empty. This is disgusting. He just had a bath yesterday, and now he's gonna need another. God knows what's caked in his beard.
I'm walking back into the house, and right before I exit the yard, I find the poop. With my bare right foot.
And it's warm.
so I ate it!
har har har just kidding. But I did have to hose myself down and hop on one foot all the way to the shower. So that was exciting.
