the kind of kid who jerked off to the idea of falling in love.

Time flies, man. It totally flies.


It's fast and slow at the same time. The days seem long. The shit I did this morning seems like I did it last year. At the same time, I can't believe how often it's Friday. It seems like my weeks are full of Fridays. Maybe it's because I'm not in school right now and I'm caught in a prescription daze... I don't know.

I'm feeling really good.

My shitty facial hair is back. It's like the worst of both worlds. My facial hair grows REALLY FAST, so I have to shave all the time. At the same time, it's very patchy. Like I've got some crazy skin disease or I'm 14.

So it's ugly as hell AND it's high maintainence. SWEET!

You're not gonna recognize me.


Here's something I want you to think about. Post your answers if you have them.

Tomorrow, you wake up, and it's September 10, 2001. You know everything you know RIGHT NOW, but nothing else.

So maybe you don't know the terrorist's names, or even the flight number. But you know about the planes.

How do you alert the proper authorities without sounding crazy? By preventing 9/11, are you going to cause an even deadlier attack? If it never happens, then the suicide bombers are still alive. What do they do then? Is your evidence broadcasted nationwide?

If it happens anyway, do you go to jail for conspiracy? Told you so?


This is frustrating to me. I don't know what I would do. Before 9/11, we really hadn't paid much mind to an outside attack. Even the Oklahoma City bombing was fading in our minds by the time 2001 rolled around.

If I ever wake up and it's 2001, I might be fucked. Plus I'll still have BAD hair. I got a haircut today, and I like it. Next week I will have new eyes too.

I was hit by a car last week, while in my car. I feel fine, but I'm also pretty medicated. And my doctor says I can't sign anything for a month (insurance) because some chronic muscle spasms could develop in time. That would suck.

I want you to check out a band called The Cribs. Some of the best music I've heard in a while. But also keep in mind that I'm basically content at the moment and maybe that's what's appealing about the upbeat style of music they produce.

If you're going to go to a game where Barry Bonds has a chance of hitting homer no. 755 or 756, please bring a baseball with you. If you are lucky enough to get a hold of one of the lucky baseballs, throw the one you brought back into the field.

This will show that you hate steroids or Barry Bonds, and it will also prevent you from being stabbed to death in the stadium's parking lot over the ball. They have serial numbers printed on the inside; you can verify this later, once you're safe.

So yeah. If you're going back in time or catching a million dollar baseball, remember the stuff I posted tonight.





You find this clarity right after you're not an animal anymore. For about 15 seconds. And sometimes you use it to call out to your angel.



Then you hang up before she can answer.